all the minutes in a day

pumping

washing bottles

sanitizing bottles

nursing

holding the baby upright for fifteen minutes after nursing

wiping up spit-up

changing the baby's clothes

stain-treating baby clothes

putting baby clothes in the washing machine

putting baby clothes in the dryer

folding baby laundry

putting away baby laundry

finding baby food recipes

reading baby food recipes

making grocery lists for baby food

making baby food

storing baby food

cleaning up after making baby food

reheating baby food

serving baby food

cleaning up the baby after a solid meal

cleaning up the high chair, table, and floor after a solid meal

loading the dishwasher

checking the baby's diaper

changing the baby's diaper

applying diaper rash cream

cleaning off the baby's foot when she puts it in the dirty diaper

washing your hands

choreographing the day so that feedings and naps are achievable

putting the baby to sleep

putting the baby back to sleep

putting the baby back to sleep

putting the baby back to sleep

putting the baby back to sleep

putting the baby back to sleep

putting the baby back to sleep

holding the baby so she'll sleep

replacing the baby's paci

sterilizing pacis

finding a pacis

sitting in the car in the driveway because the baby fell asleep

bathing the baby

drying off the baby

diapering the baby

draining the bathtub

putting away the soap and shampoo

cleaning up splashed water

putting the washcloths and towel in the hamper

putting the sleep sack on

changing the baby's diaper

washing your hands

picking up baby toys

trimming the baby's nails

buying diapers and wipes

restocking diapers and wipes from storage

reading books to the baby

doing tummy time with the baby

going for walks with the baby

making the baby laugh

kissing the baby

singing to the baby

letting the baby chew on your finger

wiggling your fingers at the baby to entertain her

changing the baby's diaper

washing your hands

saying, "oh dear" and "poor baby" and "I know" and "oh it's so hard" and "mhmm"

putting the baby in the car seat

taking the baby out of the car seat

restocking the diaper bag

debriefing with your partner

tracking when the baby last ate and slept

whisper-screaming at your partner about nap math or being too loud

doing non-baby tasks extremely slowly and quietly so as not to wake the baby

googling questions about the baby

settling the baby in a new spot so you can get something done

responding to texts that depend on the baby ("what time will you be here" "does that work for you" "are you coming over" "what time can I come over" "how was last night" "how's she doing" "how're you doing" "what is she gonna be for halloween")

sending photos of the baby to friends and relatives who live far away

sorting through photos of the baby

blogging about how being a parent takes all the minutes in a day

changing the baby's diaper

washing your hands

~Stephanie

Why You Shouldn't Do Revenge Donuts in Someone's Yard

A couple of years ago, one of my Facebook friends shared this:

It took me a minute (and maybe even some researching) to figure out what was going on. I had no idea that grass clippings were a problem for motorcycles. Apparently they can be as dangerous as ice to cyclists, reducing the traction of their tires. I'm not the one who mows our lawn, but the meme made me sad, because what if we had left clippings in the road and a cyclist had retaliated by destroying our yard? How sad to be vandalized for a crime we hadn't known we'd committed.

For the last five years, we've lived in Kernersville. There's a road, Teague, that every time I drove past, some jackass would whip out in front of me and make me slam on my brakes. It was one of the more annoying constants in my life. Last year, Gabe and I moved. Now we drive ON Teague rather than past it, and guess what? You can't see cars coming from the right when you're stopped at the stop sign. People weren't cutting me off because they were rude or bad drivers; they were doing their best, just like I now have to do—and about half the time I still wince because I've "cut someone off."

On the rare occasions that I get to shop by myself these days, I no longer park next to the cart return or as close to the store as possible, even if there's a spot open. As a mom, I know how much easier it is to put a car seat from the car directly into a cart rather than have to walk a ways with the car seat bumping into your leg, jostling your baby. I think back to all the times I thought, "Score!" and pulled into a choice spot that—as a young, able-bodied person—I honestly didn't need. I feel retroactively guilty for taking spots like that, but the truth is I just didn't have any idea what makes a parent's life harder or easier. 

My dad once shared a podcast episode by Brené Brown where she talks about choosing to believe that people are doing the best they can. Apparently people who believe that others are doing their best have a better time in general. They're less angry, more compassionate. Since that episode, I've tried to believe the best in others, but humbling, concrete experiences like the three above really hammer the point home.

These days, I'm more likely to imagine why someone might have acted the way they did rather than ascribe malice to them. I'm glad God is doing this work in me before Baby Elle is old enough to understand my words. I want her to be someone who believes the best in others.

Maybe people aren't as rude/stupid/careless/mean as we think. Maybe they just don't know that grass clippings are a hazard, can't see your car coming from that angle, or haven't experienced the problems of parenthood.

~Stephanie

Postpartum in Songs Part III

I started this post on August 21. What is that, like seven weeks ago? I started the draft by first listing all the songs and their trigger phrases, and planned to go back and fill the little paragraph explanations. I did not XD

At this point, I am actually past the phase where most of these songs are being triggered. No, these days we're on to different songs, like Lord's "Royals" ("I cut my teeth on wedding rings, in the movies"), but I don't want Songs Part III to go to waste, so here's a snapshot of what my brain sounded like almost two months ago :)

"Let's Go Fly a Kite" from Mary Poppins
Trigger phrase: "Let's go fly a kite."
The cadence "let's go change your diaper" sounds enough like this that it sends this Disney song through my head.

"When I Grow Up" by the Pussycat Dolls
Trigger phrase: "Fresh and clean, number one chick when I step out on the scene."
As I change Elle's diaper, I'll tell her that we're gonna get her "fresh and clean."

"Why" by Jon Bellion and Luke Combs
Trigger phrase: [the whole song]
I first heard this song around the time Elle was born, and it resonates with me so much. I'm not a fan of Jon Bellion and I don't listen to country music, so it's funny to me that I love this collab. 

"Booty Wurk" by T-Pain
Trigger phrase: "Let me see your booty wurk, booty wurk, booty booty booty wurk."
I mean, what else are you gonna say as a club rat millennial changing your baby's diaper?

"Hello" by Adele
Trigger phrase: "Hello."
Elle makes this adorable little gurgling coo that sounds like "hello," so I sing this song back to her a lot.

"4 Minutes" by Madonna
Trigger phrase: "We only got four minutes to save the world."
Elle has reflux, so we try to keep her upright for at least fifteen minutes after she eats. I often check the clock and see that we've only got four minutes left before she can be freeeeeeee (to still spit up).

"Who's That Lady" by The Isley Brothers
Trigger phrase: "Who's that lady?"
Also during the "keeping her upright for fifteen minute" laps, Elle and I walk by the mirror in the entryway and I always gasp and sing, "Who's that baby? Pretty baby."

"Sorry About Your Parents" by Icon for Hire
Trigger phrase: "I'm sorry about your parents, they sound like bad people."
I realize how this sounds, but it's actually just because of how often I say the phrase, "Sorry about your hiccups" to Elle. This song gets triggered.

The"Entertainment Seven Twenty" Jingle from Parks and Rec
Trigger phrase: "Entertainment seven twenty, where dreams come—they come true."
Somehow I look down at the nursing timer and it's been seven minutes and twenty seconds a lot? Someone should do a study on why you seem to encounter some numbers more often XD

~ Stephanie