Wife After God

At the recommendation of a good friend, I bought a devotional called Wife After God: Drawing Closer to God & Your Husband.

Cheesy title? Yes.

Cheesy book? Yes and no. Mostly no (and that's honest and coming from a chronically--hey, I just noticed the Greek etymology of kronos, meaning "time"--sarcastic individual)

I'm only halfway through,* but I feel like I'm getting a lot out of it.

First of all, I really like the way the chapters are set up. Each one contains Bible verses or short passages to read, a one- to two-page devotional, a suggested prayer, a challenge, and three insightful questions to ask yourself. The whole thing takes maybe fifteen minutes to complete.

However, right off the bat, the Enemy tried to take me out in two ways: 1) he accentuated the cheese factor, and 2) he highlighted every grammar mistake and typo the author made.

(Okay, the second one might've been mostly me. I'm assuaging it by allowing myself to mark up the book in pen. I may respectfully submit my suggested edits to the author when I'm done so that the errors don't get in the way of the content for other jerks like me.)

The Enemy almost won. But God checked me with a lesson I've been handed a thousand times: things are what you make them.

Is there cheese in a scripted prayer? Sure. Is there an element of trite-ness in some of the classic anecdotes? Yeah. Is there cringiness in a chapter on submission? You'd think so, but actually I thought the author handled that chapter particularly well.

But what if I decided to be bigger than that all that? What if I decided to get everything I could out of each chapter, to work with it instead of against it? I'm not "cool" because I'm incapable of learning from something that isn't my style. I'd actually be pretty shallow and unsophisticated.

(Honestly that rant was kind of a tangent, because the book ISN'T EVEN CHEESY, I just wanted to point out a way that the Enemy fought hard to deter me.)

I've been doing a Wife After God devotion almost every morning as I eat my breakfast and drink my tea. I read the prayer through once to get familiar with it, then I read it aloud and try to mean the words as I say them. If I get to a question that has an easy, "Sunday school answer," I will intentionally STOP and think harder, because clearly there's something present that Satan wants me to miss.

I don't know if I'm a better wife now than I was fifteen days ago, but I do feel more aware of my marriage and my interactions with Gabe. When I feel a sharp tone about to come out, I think I'm aware of it a split second earlier than I was, and sometimes I can temper it before it comes tearing out of my mouth. I'm trying to pass everything I say, think, and do through the filters of Respect Your Husband, How Can I Show Love in This Moment, and Is Maybe This Something I Can Just Let Go (#AdventuresInNotBeingPettyAF).

Please don't mistake my efforts for claiming success. I am not naturally a kind or patient person, and I'm not going to become one over night. But even just creating those three filters has awakened a new awareness in me. It can't be hurting.

Favorite Chapters So Far
"Day 4: Your Spouse is a Gift" - Such a lovely, fun, inspiring perspective! The challenge was to think of your husband as a gift and hug him the next time you saw him. I actually did "Day 4" while at my parents' house, sans Gabe, a few days before Sarah's wedding. When I finally saw him at the wedding rehearsal, I remembered the Challenge and felt such joy. He really is a gift to me :)

"Day 13: Coated in Pride" - I need all the lessons on pride that I can possibly get, and I know it and want to work on it. I did "Day 13" while we were on our anniversary trip, and tried to make an effort to let us do things Gabe's ways that day (and since, of course ;)). My ways are not the only ways. I do not always know best. And anyone who knows Gabe knows that he's incredibly considerate and humble. I don't need to fight to have my perspectives and preferences considered. It's my pride that tells me I do.

"Day 16: Submissiveness" - This chapter is handled so beautifully. It highlights the hierarchy that God has ordained, but reminds us that we submit--men and women alike--because Jesus submitted to God the Father. Submission is not weakness. It's peace, freedom, and strength.

I'm thinking that maybe I'll go through this devotional once a year and see what different insights and approaches I stumble upon as our marriage grows and changes.

Definitely would recommend to Christian wives.

~Stephanie

* I write these in advance, so I am actually done with the book now.