A Morning Routine

For a hot minute in August, I decided to do Balance Athletica's "Elevate U Challenge," where you commit to six life-changing daily habits for six weeks:

1) Get 7–8 hours of sleep.
2) Drink a gallon of water.
3) Stick to your nutrition goals.
4) Develop a morning routine.
5) Stretch for 10 minutes before bed.
6) Get one hour of movement.

However, you know how I feel about streaks and how I might suffer from mild OCD, so sometimes the kindest thing I can do for myself is not put myself in a position to form a streak that I will then be a slave to. Elevate U quickly revealed itself to be something I would be wise NOT to commit to officially.

However, two of the habits I found surprisingly pleasant and beneficial, one of which is the morning routine.

Honestly, my mornings were already fairly routine, but I added a tiny, specific routine that I try to do "first" ("first" in quotation marks because, again, I need to leave flexibility so as not to lose my mind XD).

I get out my journal and I write down three things:

1) A person I'm going to pray for throughout the day
2) A "theme" word to guide me
3) A concrete, measurable goal

Then I say the Lord's Prayer, trying to pay attention to every word, and end with a quick prayer for whomever I decided to pray for that day.

(NOTE: This sounds weirdly Holier Than Thou when I write about it, but it's really not. I started saying the Lord's Prayer because I wanted something that would center me on God, but not require a lot of me right away. How's that for not particularly holy at all?)

This whole "routine" takes about two minutes, and I like the way it sets up my day.

A Person to Pray For
I started this hoping that God would lay someone clearly on my heart each day to pray for, but he usually doesn't. I usually just search around in my mind and pick someone. I pray for the person every time I think about it during the day. Some days it's many times, some days it's not, but it's more than it would be if I hadn't intentionally picked someone.

A "Theme" Word
I started with a daily fruit of the spirit, and then started on Aristotle's virtues, but the latter did absolutely nothing for me. I could never remember what virtue I was supposed to be focusing on, and it just didn't feel right. So I went back to the fruits of the spirit.

As I'm writing this, my theme word for the day is Joy. Joy is my favorite day. I always get that childhood song stuck in my head: "I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart. I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart to stay.*" Somehow, it's not annoying. It actually brings me Joy.

A Goal
I usually pick a work-related goal because I find that's the area in which I get the most lost or discouraged. It's very easy for me to end the day having not completely checked off a single item on my work to-do list.

I make this goal incredibly attainable; it is never a "stretch goal." If I reach this goal, it always inspires me to work better afterwards. It not only increases my productivity, it makes me feel happy and accomplished, which colors everything.

This is one personal change that I would recommend others try. Find something tiny (five minutes or less) that sets your day up the way you like it, and do that. You'll start the day feeling like you did it on purpose, on your own terms.

~Stephanie

* I thought the last two syllables were "to-day" until I just Googled them. Apparently I've been singing it all wrong XD Either way, I like it.

Quitting the Pill

Before anyone gets excited, Gabe and I are not "trying," and we have no definite plans for when we will start.

But I think I'm on my last pack of birth control pills.*

There's a lot of information out there about birth control. Many people condemn it as harmful or immoral, saying that it can leave you infertile or with a host of hormonal problems. Many people swear it's completely safe and has zero long-term effects.

I will be the first to tell you that I hate doing scientific research (exception: psychology). (That is one thing about myself that I have not even begun to tackle.) I'm not good at it and I find it really boring. Is birth control an assault on your body, or a perfectly healthy tool? Like every other scientific topic (creation, global warning, keto diet, ET CETERA), it depends on who you listen to. But here's what I've decided:

It can't possibly be BETTER to manipulate your hormones than not to. And if I'm going to deal with any sort of "withdrawal" symptoms, I'd rather just get them over with.

Doctors insist that birth control taken for a long period of time (like, 10+ years) does not adversely affect your chances of conceiving. Doctors insist that birth control does not "take a while to leave your system." However, countless regular people report otherwise, on both counts. If it's going to take me a while to get my cycle back, I don't want to find that out mid-trying. How sad and frustrating would that be?

If my skin is going to go crazy, let's work that out ASAP.

If I'm going to get withdrawal migraines, let's let that run its course ASAP.

If I'm going to gain a bunch of weight, let's develop a solution to that ASAP.

If I'm going to have crazy cramping at first, let's get that over with ASAP.

If my moods are going to be all over the place, let's deffffffffffinitely figure that out before I attempt to have a child.

I may have zero symptoms from going off birth control. (I had pretty much zero symptoms from going on it.) But, like I said, manipulating your hormones just can't be better than NOT manipulating them.

I think I'm kind of excited to let my body get back to doing its own thing. I'm definitely worried about all of the above possibilities, but I'm not going to take birth control forever; I have to stop sometime.

I'm making all these other changes. Why not quit the pill too? I've always been an all-or-nothing person, and lately it seems to be all.

~Stephanie

* I drafted this post mid-August. As you can see, it is now end-September. I've been off the pill this whole month. Maybe I'll do an update post soon?

Worship

I started to "get into" worship a little when our church (The Point Church in Apex) did a whole series called Sing (I think). We talked about how praising God through music isn't just an optional expression, but a biblical command. I did some tentative but heartfelt Hold My Baby hand raising during that series. (Click here if you don't know what I mean.)

It kinda faded though. While my view of worship remained changed, the outward fire fizzled a little.

But lately, it's back. I'm writing this on August 17th, and I hope it's is still true as you're reading this.

I don't think my passion for worship has changed based on anything going on at church on Sunday. The music has always been good. The song choices have always been good. The Point atmosphere of worship has always been incredible. What has changed is the other six days of the week.

Let me be clear: I'm not using this blog to pat myself on the back for all the *hair flip* awesome changes I've been making lately. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that these changes are coming from inside myself. If you've known me for any amount of time you know that I've been on a self-driven crusade to change and improve myself blah blab blah for MY ENTIRE LIFE.

And it. has. never. worked.

I always end up failing and getting frustrated, reverting back to whatever I was trying to quit or do differently. Without fail, this is how it has always gone. I have never been able to change myself.

This is why I'm certain that I'm not changing myself now. The only change I have made is to go to God every morning. Devotionals keep me focused and give me something physical to DO so that if the Enemy tries to discourage me or sidetrack me, I have something that I can physically hold that will ground me and point me back to the Lord. If I feel like all I can do one morning is "go through the motions," then I go through the motions. And usually, by the end, I'm not just going through the motions any more.

It's all about that tendril of Holy Spirit strength.

I keep thinking about the Rebecca St. James song "Reborn":

"If you see a change in me don't wonder 

There's someone in my life 

And peace I can't describe 

For I've been reborn 

If you see a change in me don't wonder 

I've found a whole new life 

And hope that I can't hide 

For I've been reborn."

THIS is why I've been feeling worship differently: because I've been feeling GOD differently.

I cannot stress enough how much this isn't something I'm able to do, but something God is doing.

I also keep thinking about the DC Talk song "What If I Stumble" (early 2000s music coming in clutch these days), kind of just waiting for all my "progress" to come to a screeching halt or for Gabe to die so that God can really test my faith or something.

But 1) God cannot be stopped, so if I can just keep myself out of his way, we should be good, and 2) God is a good, good father, and that's not what he's like. That is a lie from the Enemy.

All this to say, raising my hands, clapping, closing my eyes, and singing loudly no longer feel weird. At the beginning, I would feel the Spirit tugging on me to raise my hands, but I would get immediately stuck in my head. A time of worship would become a time of internal struggle. Lately, it genuinely just...happens. I'll kind of feel the Spirit, and then my hands are out. It's not a struggle. It's not really even a decision. I have given that decision over to God during the week, and on Sundays he just makes it for me and I sit back and enjoy his presence. It's a joy and freedom I've never tapped into before.

I feel like there is no way this doesn't sound like bragging. It's not. This isn't me being such a great Christian. This is God being an all-powerful, supernatural king.

There is no posture of worship we could have that would be melodramatic or "too much." God deserves it all.

Happy to report that the Spirit has now taken me to some Mufasa, School Room, and Touchdown lately.

Again, click here if you're confused.

~Stephanie

Short Hair

For Halloween 2018, Gabe and I dressed up as Anthony and Cleopatra. For Halloween 2017, we had gone as Ron Stoppable and Kim Possible, and Gabe had actually bleached his hair to look the part. Last year I decided it was my turn to show that kind of commitment, so I chopped my hair off to go with the Cleopatra look.

It was a pretty big adjustment. I'd been getting into the high ponytail thing, and that was no longer an option. I had mixed feelings for a while, but then I started to like it. I've kept it at a touching-my-shoulders length ever since.

But no one else mentioned the haircut.

Then, around Christmas, I got a sudden wave of compliments. And that has continued through my writing this, on September 10, almost a year after the haircut.

People I see relatively regularly (or at least have seen in the last twelve months) will say, "Oh wow, did you get a haircut? I love it!" and I don't know what to say! XD It doesn't bother me in the slightest (who wouldn't want to spread out the kind compliments?!), but I wonder how/why it's happening?

I got a similar haircut—just touching the shoulders, slight layers—the day before my sixteenth birthday and I HATED it. It made me look like I was ten years old. It threatened to ruin my sweet sixteen (but then an ice storm knocked out the power for four days [as if I needed more reasons to switch my birthday] and my haircut suddenly seemed less devastating).

I had anticipated the same sinking regret in October of last year, but it just never came. I don't know if I should be happy or concerned that I now look old enough to have this haircut. Ha!

Anyway, while the haircut started as part of a costume, it has become part of the Me I am now. I know it's silly, but it feels right that a "big" style/look change sort of coincided with a wave of other lifestyle changes. I didn't do it on purpose, but I'm keeping it on purpose.

Or MAYBE the haircut triggered all other changes, the way Abigail's visit flipped the Tidy Switch? ;)

~Stephanie

Fitness Journey: From Aesthetics to Kindness

When I started my fitness journey in August of 2017 I had two goals: 1) to lose weight, and 2) to grow my glutes. Today, I continue my fitness journey for one reason: I love it.

While I've never been overweight (I think I was slightly in college, but more in a "skinny-fat" way), my fitness goals until recently have been completely aesthetically motivated.

In August of 2017, I finally got an Instagram and began following fitness influencers like Emily Skye, Anna Victoria, Meggan Grubb, and Whitney Simmons. Obviously you have to be careful of who you follow, but Instagram has actually served as a surprisingly healthy source of inspiration and motivation for me.

I began doing workouts that influencers posted, gradually learning more about physical health, from BCAAs to progressive overload to macro counting.

For almost two years, this is the zone I lived in, very happily. My body made awesome changes that still make me happy when I see them. I'll never forget the look of shock on Gabe's face when I flexed a bicep one day and said, "Hey, look at this!" I'll never forget how shocked I was when I moved an amount of weight I thought would be utterly immovable for me. I eat 500–700 more calories a day now than I did a few years ago, and I'm not looking any heavier. Weight lifting is AWESOME on every level.

But eventually, I noticed that while my body had definitely changed, it hadn't changed enough to sustain my motivation/dedication. I worked really hard to be fit. I worked out, I ate intentionally. With the amount of effort I put in, shouldn't I look...better?

But then, both gradually and all of a sudden, I didn't care anymore. I think it was a slow-sudden culmination of growing in Christ, and—I'm serious—paying more attention to mentally/spiritually/physically healthy Instagram influencers.

I began to rest in the fact that my body is strong and healthy, and I actually really like working out. My motivation can simply be that I enjoy it.

I also started thinking about what Mik Zazon says: "What is the kindest thing I can do for my body right now?"

Sometimes, the honest answer is to eat some spinach and do a HIIT workout.

But sometimes, the honest answer is to watch Netflix and eat a candy bar.

Thinking about how to be kind to myself has radically changed the way I make choices about my body. I never realized it before, but sometimes I had sort of a creepy mindset where I would think things like, "You're disgusting. That's right, eat ten cookies, because you're already gross."

Whereas if I think about being kind to myself, I think things like, "You have a great body. Let's be respectful and not feed it trash."

Being kind to your body means you don't do things to it out of spite, whether that's eat spinach or cookies.

Letting go of my aesthetic goals has meant incorporating different kinds of exercise to see what I enjoy and what makes me feel good. I don't have to resign myself to heavy hip thrusts because they're the best booty-builders; I can do a HIIT session instead because the endorphins are insane. I can go for a walk.

Will I ever stop weight lifting? I don't think so, but not because I'm afraid of getting fat. Because I want to be kind to myself.

~Stephanie

The Tidy Switch

It baffled me.

Parents didn't take off their clothes at the end of the day and throw them on the floor. Grandparents didn't leave dirty dishes on the coffee table and just go about their days.

But we did.

On any given day, the living room had piles of discarded clothing lying around, dishes from several lunches sitting out, and activities like books and notebooks and video game controllers strewn about. It would get worse and worse until there were just a few areas of clear floor and Gabe and I would, in unison, realize that it had gotten too far and we'd clean up together.

How did real adults do it? And why weren't we there? We'd been raised to put things away and clean up after ourselves, but now that we lived on our own, we just didn't. We both agreed that we preferred a clean, tidy space. It compounded our stress levels when the house was messy. But somehow...we just didn't change.

This went on for the first two and a half years of marriage, not causing a lot of arguments or problems (we teamed up well and cleaned for company), but hovering over me and in the back of my mind as something I didn't like about ourselves and didn't know how to fix.

Unfortunately, I still don't know how to fix it. But somehow, it's been fixed.

Unlike my general realization that "I'm changing," I do know exactly when the Tidy Switch was flipped. It was March 13, 2019. My sister-in-law Abigail was coming to visit, and we did our customary cleaning for company: straighten up everywhere, clean the kitchen and bathroom, dust, vacuum, etc. Abigail visited for three or four days, and we kept the apartment pretty tidy, as we always would when we had people over. She eventually left.

But I kept things tidy.

Just as an experiment, I decided to see how long I could keep things nice. I stopped throwing my clothes on the floor when I changed into pajamas. If things were dirty, I put them in the hamper; things I'd barely worn I would fold and put away or hang up. After every meal, the first thing I did after standing up from the table was put the dishes in the dishwasher, food back where it belonged. When I was done reading or writing, I put my book or journal in a designated spot. When I came inside, I took my shoes off and lined them up in their place rather than kick them in the right general direction.

I'm a biiiiiiiiig fan of "streaks" (currently have a MyFitnessPal streak of 447 days), so when I realized that I'd been staying tidy for a few days, I kept it up. I didn't want to break that streak.

(Let me also say that in the midst of all this, the old adage "If you do a little every day, it doesn't take so long!" still felt like a BOLD-FACED LIE. Y'all it takes WAY more time to fold and put away clothes than it does to drop them on the floor. Don't believe those lies. It IS gonna take more time, and it's gonna feel like a LOT more time at first. Going from .5 seconds to three minutes is like, what, a 500% increase? Yeah. And it feels like it.)

At that point in the tidiness journey I began to feel fairly frustrated with Gabe because the Switch had not flipped in his mind when it did in mine. If I wanted the apartment to stay neat, I had to address 100% of my personal mess and about 85% of Gabe's as well. It was wearing real thin.

But a few verses in Proverbs 31 (I did a post on that experience) compounded with a bunch of other sources about respecting your husband, leading by example etc., and I ended up deciding that I needed to make one of two changes for my own happiness and holiness:

1) I could stop picking up after Gabe and accept that the apartment was just going to be messier than it "should" be.

2) I could let go of my bitterness and expectations and do it all because it's important to me and I love Gabe.

Well, the first one wasn't an option because 1) streak, and 2) I had decided I really liked a clean space. So Change #2 it was.

I have to imagine that this was what God wanted me to do all along, because I'm not kidding: within a couple of weeks (if not DAYS), the Switch magically (supernaturally?) flipped in Gabe's head too. He started putting his dishes away, and now if he doesn't, I don't mind doing it because it's the exception (and, ya know, letting go of bitterness and expectations). He stopped leaving clothes in the living room, and now I can handle the occasional bedside laundry pile because #Progress.

The apartment still gets messy, but for like a few hours at a time. Before I go to bed, I tidy up. When I go to bed, I put all my clothes away. When I wake up, I'll straighten up anything I've missed. We can always see all of the floor now. We barely have anything to do, clutter-wise, when people come over.

Doing this still takes a lot more time than not doing it. It takes just as much time as did in the beginning, but now I'm used to the amount of time it takes, and I've decided that it's worth it to me. It's all (FINALLY) become a habit to the point where even when I'm exhausted, I'll find myself putting my clothes away before I go to bed, without thinking about it.

I don't know how exactly the Tidy Switch got flipped for me. I guess my best advice is either to be patient and hope that one day it'll flip for you, or to get started and then cling to that "streak" mentality.

Or maybe have Abigail over. Maybe the secret was her all along XD

~Stephanie

Breakfast These Days

Switching it up today with just a recipe :)

One of my New Year's Resolutions was to "eat more veggies." I've tapered off some since January, but I absolutely eat more veggies than I did this time last year. Mainly I make sure to incorporate a couple of servings into breakfast, either by making an omelette, or the following.

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this or calling it a "recipe," because 1) it's ridiculously simple, and 2) most people probably won't even like it XD But here goes.

Hardish Boiled Eggs on Toast and Zucchini and Spinach Stir-Fry
- 2 eggs
- 2 slices of toast (I use Nature's Own Sugar Free Whole Grain)
- 1 cup sliced zucchini
- handful of spinach
- butter to grease a pan
- salt, pepper, garlic, red pepper flakes

Macros: 295 calories, 24C, 15F, 23P

For those of you just wanting the recipe, you really don't need it. You assemble this exactly the way you'd expect. Now, if you want to keep reading, brace yourself for the anecdotal story of how I make it. *evil laughter*

(Fun fact: This year, I discovered that I like hardboiled eggs not boiled for approximately half a century.)

The magic choreography of this breakfast goes as follows.

Return from the gym. Hang up keys, put away shoes, plug in bluetooth earbuds to charge because God forbid they not be fully charged when I need them.

Put two eggs in a pot of water on the stove and turn the burner on.

Put two slices of bread in the toaster oven, but don't turn it on.

Unload the dishwasher, leaving out a plate, a fork, a sharp knife, and the cutting board.

Get out the tiny frying pan and put it on a burner.

Using the left out fork like a barbarian, slice off some butter and put it in the pan.

Slice zucchini. Put it in the pan. Season with salt, pepper, garlic, and red pepper flakes. Top with a handful of spinach.

When the egg water is juuuuust about to boil, say "Hey Siri. Set a timer for four minutes."

Thank her when she gets it going.

Turn the zucchini-and-spinach burner on. Nudge the stir-fry around and watch in fascination as the spinach shrivels before your eyes.

Turn the toaster oven on.

When the egg timer goes off, the stir-fry is probably done. Take it off the burner if it is. Leave it and continue to poke if it isn't. But definitely...

Move the egg pot to the sink and run cold water over the eggs for a minute or so.

Peel the eggs. Pray you get ones with the shells that slide right off rather than the ones that cling to the whites and leave you with a mutilated 2/3 of egg left.

Toast is done.

Plate toast.

Plate stir fry.

Place one egg on each toast and chop with a fork.

Season egg toast with salt and pepper.

Eat while doing a Wife of God devotional ;)

~Stephanie

Self-Awareness: Hopefully True, Maybe Ironic

"Everyone suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known."
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

I don't know if "self-awareness" is a cardinal virtue, but it is a quality of which I like to suspect myself.

Before anything more, I would like to point out that I realize how awkward and ironic this will be if it turns out that I'm fooling myself into thinking I'm self-aware. But I do genuinely want to be self-aware, so if you think I'm not, do tell me.

Actually, now that I dig deeper into my thoughts, I think that's more what I'm trying to say: my "cardinal virtue" isn't that I am self-aware, but that I genuinely want to be. If you think I'm arrogant, please tell me. If you think I'm shallow, please tell me. If you think my tone is too sharp, please tell me.

This is something Gabe and I have been working on since we got married. His default is to let things go, which is a GIANT GIFT FROM GOD because my default is to grab onto everything. If we were both as nit-picky as I am, we'd...well, we'd never have gotten married, that's for sure. If we had anyway someone would definitely be dead by now.

But that quality of his also bothers me, because I feel like I thrive on people calling me out on my crap.

On my very first blog, I would sometimes post excerpts from stories I was writing. People would comment kind, encouraging things. And I hated that. Here is a moment of sheer self-awareness that I often shy away from because #Arrogance:

I know I'm a good writer.

There. I said it.

Now, admittedly, that's right now. Tomorrow I may recant this and insist that I'm average at best, or I peaked when I was a teenager, or a bunch of other different statements that I will believe just as much at that time as the one above. But, on the whole, I know I'm a good writer.

What I want to be is a better writer. And those kind, encouraging comments to my middle-school self were not making me that. I did want to hear what people liked about my stories or style, but where did they see weakness? What didn't they like?

This intense desire to expose flaws and fix them is one of my core qualities. Gabe is getting more and more comfortable with stopping me in a moment and saying, "You're being mean to me," or "You're not listening," or "I think you don't have a good reason for that." And my suspected cardinal virtue kicks in, because I think—and Gabe, please correct me if I'm wrong—that I do a good job of pausing and taking that criticism.

Now, I'm not saying that my other core qualities of Logic and Arguing For The Purpose Of Understanding don't make an appearance too. I will sometimes push back against the accusation of "meanness" if I honestly don't believe it, but Gabe knows that it's because I need to understand and be understood. I go into "cross examination mode," which is definitely not warm and fuzzy, but it is devoid of whatever emotion was overwhelming me a few moments before.

If I was being mean, I explain where I think it was coming from and apologize. If I wasn't listening, I start. If I didn't have a good reason, we discover that and I admit that I need to let go (sometimes, in the moment, I can't yet, but I will at least stop forcing it on the world at large XD).

I have some good qualities, but I'm more interested in the bad ones. What can I fix? What can I understand better? What can I change?

I know I'm intense and self-assured and argumentative, but don't ever be afraid to stop me if you have something to say out of love.

I really do want to know.

~Stephanie

Proverbs 31: Not What I Expected

To be honest, I don't know if I'd ever read Proverbs 31 before.

I must have at some point. It's impossible for a girl to grow up in church and not have heard it. But, while I had a Thirty-One Bags lunchbox (my friend Brianna will hook you up), I have no idea what the passage said until a couple of months ago.

I had been feeling discouraged about my role as a wife. Things just didn't feel right. I wanted to be a good wife, grounded in God and biblical principles, but all I could remember was the call to respect your husband. Husbands love your wives; wives respect your husbands.

But there had to be more to it than that. What did Proverbs 31 say? Wasn't that about wives?

Reluctantly, I got out my Bible. I already knew what it was going to say: something that boiled down to "submit to your husbands, be gentle, and stay in the kitchen." I mentally prepared to do a lot of Googling to find less offensive and culturally relevant interpretations of the passage.

But then I read it.




I don't think I've ever been that shocked by a Bible passage in my life.

Proverbs 31:10–31
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Y'all, that is not just a submissive and gentle woman who cooks for her family. That is a powerhouse pillar of society. This woman is intelligent, resourceful, shrewd, and strong. She plans well, she makes profitable business investments, she organizes a household, she pays the employees. Her job is not "doing what men can't be bothered with." Her job is "doing what it takes to make the world go round because she's really good at it." She guards and stewards her family in a way that is different, but no less challenging or vital, than her husband.

She is worth far more than rubies. She is like a merchant ship. She is to be honored and praised at the city gate.

This isn't a mold for wives to shove themselves into with a lot of help from the Holy Spirit; this is a wise and able Wonder Woman to which to aspire.

No pride-stroking Googling necessary. I put the Word away feeling humbled, and sheepish at the role I'd assumed God wanted to force on me. I put the Word away feeling empowered, inspired, and excited about my role as a wife.

This is a real job, with power and influence and consequence.

How could I for a second have underestimated my Creator's design?

~Stephanie