Boundaries: Intro

We've had the book Boundaries on our shelf for about six years now, purchased at the suggestion of a friend. However, until two weeks ago, neither Gabe nor I had read it.

I've been really struggling over the last year (to be honest, I feel like all I've done since about the fall of 2019 is "struggle"). The whole time, I knew that some of my struggles had to do with the concept of boundaries. On the way home from church a couple of weeks ago, Gabe threw out that maybe I should read that Boundaries book we had.

"I mean, I can," I said. "I can't imagine what it's going to say that I don't already know: having boundaries is healthy, even for Christians; other peoples' emotions aren't your responsibility; saying 'no' doesn't make you a bad person, et cetera."

But I must have been feeling especially open-hearted that day, because I actually started reading the book.

It said all of the things I knew it would, and honestly didn't have a TON of completely new ideas (though the "Boundaries and God" section was brand-new to me). But the nuances it presented and the practical steps and checklists opened my eyes in a way that felt like transforming a black-and-white knowledge into a full-color understanding. Just reading the book felt like breathing more easily and walking with less weight. The book gave me sanctioned, Christian, Bible-verse-backed permission to own my life. It gave me permission to do what I've been wanting to do, but thought was...wrong? Selfish? Hurtful to others?

It's wild that a book about boundaries—limits—can make you feel so free.

I'm going to be doing a lot of work on this for a while. I don't know exactly what's going to look like, but I know two things for sure:

1) I'm going to be saying No a lot for a while. "No" is going to be my default, until I heal enough to give a heartfelt "Yes." I don't know how long that will be, but probably longer than we would all like.

2) I'm going to be blogging about this, because writing is how I do my best thinking.

So far, these are the posts I plan to write.

Boundaries:
- Boundaries: The Laziness Breakthrough
- Boundaries: You Own Your Emotions
- Boundaries: Letting Your Yes Be Yes
- Boundaries: It Takes a Village
- Boundaries and Fe: A Match Made in Hell

I really hope you buy the buy the book (and don't wait six years to read it), which is why I've linked it in like three places already. I think it might be a game changer, and who doesn't want their game changed*?

~ Stephanie

* Wait, maybe there are people who don't want their game changed? *stares off into space thinking about that* Huh. Well, read the book anyway.