The past two years have been too busy.
Between the two of us, Gabe and I have had six jobs in the last two years, and for most of the time, it was four at once. Gabe's also a full-time chemical engineering student and we like to be involved in our church. For the first year of marriage, we had basically zero friends. I was really lonely. I cried a lot. Then, a couple of years ago, we finally found our people, and things got better deep down—where it counts—but worse near the surface. We were busier than ever, stretched so thin we couldn't enjoy most things.
Honestly, I look back over the past twenty-four months and it's proof that God exists. We could not have done all that we did without some kind of supernatural blessing and grace.
This year, we've felt convicted to stop living a life so slammed that we can't enjoy it or pour into others or be spontaneous.
I gave up teaching dance for this year, which was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I have danced every year since I was three years old—until now. I love dance in a way I don't love anything else except maybe words. I already cannot wait to go back.
But I am also shocked at how much it was the right decision. Teaching dance was only 1–2 nights a week, but the amount of physical and mental energy it took—especially during choreography season in the spring—was apparently unfathomable XD Minus that one weekly commitment, I feel like a new person. It opened my week up wider than a Tuesday night should've been capable of.
Our church has also been sprinkling in the idea of prayerful planning over the past year. Our pastor said something a few weeks ago that has stuck with me: "If you get to the end of the day and you didn't finish your to-do list, then you probably had stuff on that there that God didn't put there."
We're trying a new system this year. We set boundaries about how busy we're allowed to be (e.g., two Saturdays a month, we don't have plans), and started keeping a family calendar. We sit down at the beginning of the month and write down our commitments. We try to leave enough room so that when someone says, "Hey, do you want to have dinner Thursday night?" we can say yes more often. At the risk of sounding holier-than-thou, we're trying to ask God what he wants our month to look like. Is X plan going to glorify God?
So far, it feels. so. good.
I feel like I can be present rather than spent. Excited, rather than anxious. There are whole evenings where we can read, or watch TV, or talk. We can be happy to see people at church rather than literally already so over it the second we see another human. We can actually look forward to plans rather than dread that we're busy yet again.
We have a long way to go, and who knows if we will stick to this method, but right now it feels like a really good change.
If you feel like you're too busy with good things, consider cutting something out—when you can. (It drove me so crazy when people would tell me, "You're just doing too much. You need to quit something" and I'd be like, "Okay sure, so which of the three contractually-bound employment obligations should I violate?" XD Consider cutting something out when you can: legally, emotionally, and physically.)
~Stephanie
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