Fighting Mysticism

Like most kids, I loved the idea of magic. Like some kids, I wasn't allowed to get very into it.

Things that were off limits included Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Dragon Tales, That's So Raven (sometimes), and Avatar: The Last Airbender (this might've been because we didn't have cable and it didn't come up much), and Harry Potter. I also never believed in Santa et al, though those weren't "bad" or "dangerous"; my dad just felt strongly about being honest there.

I have mixed feelings about the principle of forbidding/restricting "magic" for children. On one hand, it was really sad and annoying not to be able to participate in pop culture, especially when, to me, the rational was weak and fear-based at best. I think possibly, on principle, I disagree with characterizing all magic as Satanic and wrong.

On the other hand, my parents might've—almost by complete accident—been right about me in particular.

Unlike most kids, I never fully grew out of the "magic" stage. We'll never know whether that's because I didn't get to have that stage as a child, or because it's just the way I am. My guess is that it's just the way I am, because I know lots of people raised the way I was who don't seem to struggle.

Or it could be Door #3: what I wrestle with now is actually independent from my attraction to magic as a child. What I wrestle with now is more what I'd call "mysticism": moon phases, the power of stones, chakras, astrology, that kind of thing.

It's not like I fell into the occult for a while and now have to watch myself; I've never fallen into the occult. But that's not by accident. I have to be careful.

If you know me well, you know I can always tell you when the next full moon is. I'm fascinated by the way full moons seem to affect human behavior. Emergency rooms boom during full moons. When I was in middle school, I noticed that the class days around—or especially ON—a full moon were wildly more talkative, funnier, stranger. (You probably noticed this, but we had a Friday the Thirteenth that coincided with a full moon in September.)

I'm fascinated by the alleged properties of different stones. Amethyst is supposed to promote relaxation and insight. Peridot is supposed to help you let go of negative emotions. Onyx is supposed to yield confidence and protection.

I'm fascinated by chakras and I barely know anything about them at all.

I'm fascinated by people's signs and seeing how their astrological profile matches or describes them, myself included. I've only ever dated Leos. Coincidence?

Actually YES. This stuff isn't real. (Although, y'all, the moon thing. What is that about?)

And then if it isn't real, why is it dangerous? What's the big deal?

Confusingly enough, I'm not here to make a case for or against mysticism. I'm here to admit a place where I struggle. I'm here to say that I would love to get a moon phase tattoo, but that feels like glorifying something other than God, so I don't. I would love to buy and wear stones that correspond to something I think I need, but I don't, because God is everything I need. I would love to analyze my and everyone else's signs and dig into what they mean, but I don't, because the stars have nothing to do with who we are.

I've mostly avoided researching chakras because I don't know where that would lead my mind. That sounds silly, but I know myself. I know how deeply I love and desire "magic" in an ungodly sense.

Are these things actually Satanic or wrong? I don't know. Maybe rocks are just rocks and chakras are made up, but I know things CAN be dangerous if you follow the dark side of the path long enough. I know spiritual warfare is real. Satan and demons are real, and they are more happy to let you choose the door through which they enter.

I'm inclined to think that this level of mysticism is "gateway magic" the same way marijuana is demonized as a "gateway drug": Not all marijuana smokers become drug addicts, but most drug addicts started with marijuana. Not all people who play with gems and astrology become dark magicians, but most dark magicians started with the "silly" stuff.

Knowing myself, I think it's better that I grow faith in what I truly believe before I allow myself to explore anything mystical, even from the standpoint of curiosity. I hope that one day I can safely investigate this in a way that honors God.

~Stephanie